- To make you feel important
- Because every door at work requires a different key
- To hear the jangley sound
- In case they are needed as a weapon
- To cut those annoying plastic bands that hold flip flops together
- Scratching lotto tickets
- For more of a challenge if you come home tipsy
- Extra weight lifting workout
- To put a bulge in your pocket
- Stalling time when you aren’t ready to say goodnight
Category Archives: Humor
Most Frequently Used Search Terms Used to Reach This Page
- shades of green
- lifeguard acronyms
- hemingway quotes
- pepsi endorsers list
- greek alphabet for kids
- work like a captain play like a pirate
- famous people that start with x
- be strong when you are weak brave when you are scared and humble when you are victorious
- fast acronym lifeguarding
- taku glacier
- strong is what you do when you run out of weak
- elsie was a mighty fine cow lyrics
- mandela quotes
- famous people names
- letter w
- presidents with the letter y
- tug fest 2012
- trent two rivers ymca
- naked boundary waters
- empty tomb yellow
- my son’s 19th birthday
Ridiculous Celebrity Baby Names That I Secretly Kind Of Like
- True (Forest Whitaker & Keisha Nash)
- Sonnet (Forest Whitaker & Keisha Nash)
- Rocket (Robert Rodriguez & Elizabeth Avellan)
- Rogue (Robert Rodriguez & Elizabeth Avellan)
- Ocean (Forest Whitaker & Keisha Nash)
- Solita (Geraldo & Erik Rivera)
- Suri (Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes)
- Apple (Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin)
- Ryder (Kate Hudson & Chris Robinson)
- Shiloh (Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt)
- Pax (Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt)
- Sonora (Alice & Sheryl Cooper)
- Banjo (Andrew Taylor & Rachel Griffiths)
- Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee & Beth Riesgraf)
Best TV Shows of the 90s
- Seinfeld
- Friends
- E.R.
- Law & Order
- Spin City
- Ned & Stacy
- Mad About You
- MAD Tv
- In Living Color
- Boy Meets World
- Northern Exposure
- Home Improvement
- Dharma & Greg
- Just Shoot Me
- News Radio
- Beverly Hills 90210
- Melrose Place
- Highlander
- Ally McBeal
- The Fresh Prince of BelAir
- Frasier
- Wings
Proposed Facebook Buttons That Would Be More Accurate Than “Like”
- I noticed you posted this.
- Your picture is cute but I’m too shy to flirt with you.
- I’m tired of this conversation.
- Very funny. (Sarcastic)
- Very funny. (Sincere)
- I agree with this but it’s a sad sentiment so I don’t actually like what you are saying.
- I’m too lazy to think of a reply.
- I just wanted the freebie this site is giving away.
- All my other friends liked this and I give in to peer pressure.
- I’ve never heard of this band/product/movie but I want to seem in touch with my culture.
Things Meatloaf Will Not Do For Love
- That
Songs That Have Been Going Through My Head at One Time or Another Over the Last Few Days
- Amazing Grace… My chains are gone, I’ve been set free, my God, my Savior ransomed me…
- Catch a Falling Star…and put it in your pocket…
- Moon River… Two drifters off to see the world, there’s such a lot of world to see…
- Lay Me Down… Hand on my heart this much is true, There’s no life apart from You…
- Fish Heads, Fish Heads… roley-poley fish heads…
Overused Middle Names
- Ann
- Marie
- Lynn
- James
- Daniel
- Paul
- Jo
- Sue
Made Up Words That Make Me Smile
- Scrumdillyicious
- Wordsmitherist
- Muy Quievo
- Yippideeboomdeboom
Silly Songs From My Youth
- Elsie was a Mighty Fine Cow (she was a friend of mine)
- Alice the Camel (had five humps)
- Eddie Coochacatchacamatoceneratocenokasammacammawacky Brown (fell into a well)
- Cumalauda Vista (on and on and on a vista)
- Scab Sandwiches (with puss on top)
- Great Big Globs of Greasy Grimy Gopher Guts (little birdies’ dirty feet)
- Leprosy (all my skin is falling off of me)
- Put Your Hand in a Fan (and you’ll probably lose a finger)
- Cow-patty Love (is the way I feel)
Leprosy (to the tune of “Yesterday”)
Leprosy, all my skin is falling off of me
I’m not half the man I used to be
Since I contracted leprosy.
Kiss me quick, before I lose my upper lip,
I don’t even have a nose to pick
Since I contracted leprosy.