Monday Magic

Products I use because they work like magic or close enough to it to make me never want anything else

  1. Downy Wrinkle Release
  2. Fenofibrate (which I buy even though I don’t have insurance anymore because it’s actually working and I don’t want to stroke-out at the age of 45.)
  3. Garnier Length & Strength shampoo and conditioner
  4. Regis Clarifying shampoo (to remove chlorine)
  5. Eucerin Plus Intensive Repair lotion (to combat chlorine again)
  6. Tide Coldwater Free
  7. Static Guard
  8. Playtex Sport feminine products
  9. Sharpie markers

19 Reasons to Celebrate My Son’s 19th Birthday Today

  1. It’s his Golden Birthday!  Nineteen years on the nineteenth!
  2. He’s an amazing young man who has empathy, maturity, and wisdom beyond his years.
  3. He makes me laugh all the time.
  4. When I am sad, he hugs me until he takes away at least some of the sadness.
  5. Even at 19 years old, he still doesn’t mind hanging out with his mom.
  6. He talks to me.  Really talks.  About important things and unimportant things and dreams and goals and life decisions.  We communicate well.
  7. Hardly anything can embarrass him.  And I’ve tried.
  8. He brings his friends around.
  9. We like a lot of the same movies and TV shows and enjoy watching them together.
  10. He thinks I’m young enough to understand the music he listens to.
  11. He has indeed introduced me to a lot of new music.
  12. His smile is quick and sincere.
  13. Even when he was young, he’s always been able to talk to anyone.  People don’t scare him the way they do me.
  14. He kills bugs for me.
  15. Almost all of my favorite memories involve him.
  16. Before he was born, when I was in a car wreck, there were some scary minutes when we couldn’t hear his heartbeat.  I don’t think I’ve ever prayed harder than that hour.
  17. He supports my goals and dreams, even if they take us away from each other geographically.
  18. He loves with his whole heart.
  19. I am so proud of the man he has become.

    Caleb at the top of Haleakala Volcano, Maui - June 2010

How My Monday Went

Alarm is set for 8 a.m. for a late-start day.
7:15 – phone call:  one of your lifeguards has passed out.
7:20 – make 3 phone calls as scrambling to get dressed, in attempt to arrange guard coverage
7:50 – lifeguard until someone else can take over
9:25 – check on lifeguard we sent home:  she’s doing well
9:30 – begin working on extremely urgent project that absolutely must be completed that day
9:40 – realize that I just deleted two very important parts of the project
9:40.32 – begin to panic
9:45 – figure out how to fix the problem and find accidentally deleted files
10:00 – radio call from warm pool:  temperature seems off in the room
10:05 – enter warm pool, attempt to breathe in heavy air
10:20 – track down maintenance director who is working upstairs
10:30 –  check readings with maintenance director;  air filtration system has one part down.
10:33 – report to lifeguard:  current air temp is 90 degrees with 63% humidity.  repairman called.
10:45 – return to work on urgent project.
11:03 – text lifeguard due in at 3 pm, ask her to come in at 1:30 if possible
11:45 – make peanut butter sandwich at desk and eat it while still working on project
12:50 – approximately half of project is complete.  use bathroom.  report to warm pool.
1:00 – lifeguard warm pool ’til guard can come in
1:30 – return to office, work on urgent project
1:40 – fire alarms begin sounding.  evacuate pools and building.
1:50 – all clear is given.  no fire, just a broken sprinkler head.  reopen pools.
1:55 – quick parking lot search for evacuee/therapy patient who apparently decided to drive away
2:00 – return to urgent project
2:20 – hot tony walks by and asks if we have an extra squeegee in the pool area, which we do
2:30 – radio call: cool pool lifeguard needs a break
2:35 – me to the lifeguard stand.  guard goes on break but is put to work moving towels to the back desk.  she reports there is “water in the front desk area”
2:40 – she returns to guard.  i check out the “water”.
2:41 – stand in awe at the volume of water still dripping from ceiling in front lobby.  apparently when sprinkler head broke, it flooded an upstairs room which then flooded through the ceiling and onto the front desk area.
2:55 – meeting called for available staff. temporary command center established in front of lifeguard office.  all people coming in will need to enter through side door and then walk through lifeguard office and cool pool to get to locker rooms.
3:00 – give breaks to guards so they can move personal belongings from lifeguard office to my office
3:15 – in attempt to stop people tracking dirt all over pool deck, create a sign to funnel them through a particular hallway.  wording of sign:  Walk This Way
3:30 – new shift lifeguards and swim instructors begin arriving.  explain to each one to put their belongings in my office.  repeat morning story about a hundred times.
3:45 – interview subject arrives.  employment interview conducted in my office amidst piles of peoples’ belongings with unusually heavy foot traffic past my office.
4:00 – lifeguard requests Sharpie to enhance “Walk This Way” signage (See picture below.)
4:15 – navigate dark front desk area to find paperwork for new hires to sign
4:16 – return to potential hire.  realize i have the wrong paperwork.
4:17 – get correct paperwork.  front desk area still dark.  desk completely clear because all computers, telephones, papers, files, etc. are somewhere being dried off.
4:20 – return to extremely urgent project
5:15 – son calls to request food at work.  as an aside he mentions that perhaps for his birthday party, we should do a giant scavenger hunt.  around the entire quad cities.  three days from now.  i tell him this may be quite a stretch to figure out in 3 days.  he says he understands.
5:17 – scribble down 3 ideas for scavenger hunt.  return to extremely urgent project.
5:30 – finish extremely urgent project.  clock out.  i worked 9.33 hours without a break.
5:45 – take son food
5:55 – eat my dinner in the car on the way home
6:00 – home, begin working on scavenger hunt ideas.  watch Big Bang Theory
6:12 – on commercials, do housework
6:50 – research scavenger hunt ideas online
7:15 – prepare to leave for 2nd job, important phone call regarding birthday party
7:30 – gas tank at E for two days:  go to gas station
7:40 – detour on the way to work to check out something for scavenger hunt
7:45 – work second job
9:30 – leave second job wearing wet bathing suit with a towel wrapped around me
9:40 – birthday party discussions via telephone on the way home
10:00 – stand outside in the cold air and wet swimsuit to finish birthday party conversation
10:15 – give kids the rundown of my entire day
10:20 – take a shower so long that the hot water runs out
10:40 – snacks (cheese stick and tortilla) and Diet Coke;  decompress

Enhanced Signage

Song Lyrics I Have Misunderstood

  1. Let The Sun Shine In:  Proper lyrics “Smilers never lose and frowners never win”
    What I heard:  “Mothers never lose and fathers never win.”
  2. Bringing in the Sheaves:  Proper lyrics “Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the sheaves, we shall come rejoicing bringing in the sheaves.”
    What I heard:  “Bringing in the sheep, bringing in the sheep…”
  3. If You’re Gonna Play in Texas:  Proper lyrics “When a cowboy in the back stood up and yelled ‘Cotton Eyed Joe!’ ”
    What I heard:  “When a cowboy in the back stood up and yelled ‘Hot Nacho!’ “
  4. Checkers commercial:  “Get your feast on, feast on.”
    What I heard:  “Get your keystone, keystone.”

    Hot Nacho!!

Acronyms I Will Be Teaching in the Lifeguarding Course that Begins Tonight

  1. FIND – a method for problem solving
    • Figure out the problem
    • Identify solutions
    • Name the pros & cons
    • Decide
  2. RID – what prevents a lifeguard from doing his best
    • Recognition — Failure to recognize an emergency
    • Intrusion — of secondary duties
    • Distraction — by outside sources and people
  3. SAMPLE – conducting a secondary assesment
    • Signs & symptoms
    • Allergies
    • Medicines
    • Past pertinent medical history
    • Last oral intake
    • Events leading up to the incident
  4. FAST – assessing a potential stroke victim
    • Face
    • Arms
    • Speech
    • Time
  5. LL – AED pad placement
    • lower left
    • upper right

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